I'm So Sick hehehe

update, updates....go!

HEART OF GOLD (?!)

for the past few weeks scores of "student scholars" (not from UP) have been roaming around the UP grounds selling ballpoint pens with their built-in calendars. I have often been approached by some of them and have been subjected to their sales pitch which to me at best is both heartfelt and a bit disturbing. Who the hell makes scholars sell merchandise to finance their scholarship?! Ganun na ba kahirap ang public school system na kailangan na ng mga iskolar na magbenta ng ballpen sa kalsada?!

But of all the scholars i've encountered this particular girl gets first place among her peers who have tried (unsuccessfully) to convince me to buy their "cute" pen. Here's why:

I was on my way to my second home in UP (ang main library hehehe) when i was "accosted" (gin-gubat) by one of them "scholars". She started her sales pitch with a "good afternoon Kuya, pwede ba kayong ma-istorbo?" -- and we were in the middle of the road...

So i gently guided her to the side of the road saying, "Dito tayo hija, baka mabundol tayo..." and listened to her making her "sales talk". I was thinking this girl either had guts to confront me in the middle of street with vehicles speeding by, or she was so desperate to land her first sale of the day that she would risk bodily injury and death (both for herself and me)...

Either way, she must've caught me in a good mood for i was quite receptive to her sales pitch (even though i have to admit that her speech could've used a few improvements, and the way she presented the ballpen --complete with 'tsaraaaaan!' was just so pathetic and abysmal, but then she caught me during one of my good days...na-abutan niya ang good (and generous) side of ditch...

But before I could part with my P100 (thats how much the #%$@ng ballpen cost) I still had to pry regarding the "supposed" scholarship.

Ditch: "Meron ba kayong receipt for your ballpen? Para malaman namin na talagang pupunta yan sa scholarship niyo..."

"Scholar": wala po eh...

D: Ay naku, parang problema yan...I need to know that you're keeping a record of your sales for this. And para din ito sa mga bibili para malaman namin na pupunta talaga yan sa scholarship niyo..how do I know that this is really part of your scholarship program?

S: (produces an ID and a brochure of some organization called "CARP" -- not related to that vile instrument of exploitation and elitist greed that's the Comprehensive Agrarian Reform Program -- basta CARP...i just flipped through it quickly)...hindi po talaga kami binibigyan nu'n (receipt) kasi tine-train po kami ng mga "seniors" namin sa values...

D: (huh?! what values?) well they're teaching you wrong values, because you need to be transparent in your transactions...it's what you call HONESTY and proper procedures especially in a business transaction...(at this point ditch is now an a****le hehehe)

I no longer remember the rest of the conversation but at that point I was thinking, what the hell might, as well buy her ballpen, kawawa naman...and to have survived this long under my interrogation...she deserves that P100 (for putting up with an a****le like me hehehe)

But handing her my money (actually not my money, allowance from my parents yun) I reiterated my misgivings about the way they're doing their fund-raising. It might be with the best of intentions, but how they're doing it smells suspiciously of exploitation (on their part) and utter stupidity (for the organizers). I got a ballpen, with built-in calendar...colored YELLOW. (all she had were pink and yellow colored ballpens)

The girl thanked me and said, "...meron po kayong 'heart of gold'..."

To that I replied, "Well you've certainly overestimated me..." (insert evil laugh)

Damn, if I had a heart of gold, i would've pawned it already. hahahaha I could've just told her and her "seniors" to go you-know-where and marched off to the main lib but something told me to trust the sincerity of her words...whatever it was, it sure wasn't the prodding of a metallic mass of muscular tissue located near the center of my chest cavity...alam n'yo na kung ano yun...

Let's Party like it's 1945!!!

this week i'm stuck in the basement of the main library -- that's where the filipiniana and media services section are located. in my research for my kas 112 course I was poring over books and archival materials regarding the national elections held during 1946 which featured the entry of the Democratic Alliance in politics (the DA was the political wing of the Communist Party during that time). the fun started when i went into the microfilm collection and looked over the newspapers during that period.

Very interesting... I get to glimpse a relic from 60 years ago and learn something of life during that time. I keep getting distracted and would often read the whole newspaper instead of skimming for articles related with the DA. here's some of the things i've read:

1. a kilo of sugar cost 50 centavos during that time. that's because the gov't was guarding against abusive retailers who would increase sugar prices to as high as P2.50. may sugar shortage during that time and this was worsened by hoarding and price speculation from several businessmen and planters...many of them coming from Negros (ehem...)

2. newspapers depended upon the US Army to supply them with newsprint for the printing of their newspapers. That was during the first few months after the liberation of Manila (around Feb 1945) which explains the poor quality of the issues from the months of July until August after that the paper (even layouting) improved. but their editing could use some help, their copyreaders missed some misspellings which rendered some headlines comedic. e.g. ("Mathay Rapped with Charges" on Page 1 became "Mathay Raped..." when the article continued on Page 4)

3. our generation only heard (or read) a fraction of the atrocities committed during the liberation of Manila. Manila was second only to Poland for being the city which suffered the most destruction during the second world war. I happened to read articles regarding the trial of gen. tomoyuki yamashita and during his trial the military commission that heard his case was flooded with testimony of the most inhuman deeds of the Japanese...it's different if you've read it from people who've experienced it...

4. government scandals are not new to the filipino nation...a few months after liberation, a scandal involving the distribution of cloth among the provinces was reported. this concerned a certain number of congressmen who would receive an amount of cloth which was to be distributed in their respective districts. It was either the cloth didn't reach the people or a ridiculously large amount was requested by congressmen who often kept a large part for themselves. hay naku, some things never change...

5. there is a prevailing mysoginistic tone in the newspapers i've read. especially in advertisements and in some articles, feminists would surely howl in outrage if they read some of the articles i've read.

That's just a sample of the interesting things i stumble upon as i make galing the microfilm machine (hehehehe)

I've still got a few more rolls of microfilm to view and the past few days i have spent viewing records in the airconditioned microfilm-viewing room , which leads me to the last update

I'm So Sick

as in "sick" nga ginmasakit hahaha. I think i caught a cold because of too much exposure to the cold temparature inside the microfilm viewing room. That, and the alternating rain and warm weather didn't do a thing to improve my condition. My frequent exposure to old, dusty books was also a factor...

But despite not feeling well, i still attended classes and went to the library. not much time is left for me to complete my research. So what I did to combat my illness is buy medicine and eat chicken noodle soup at Chowking hehe. it seemed that the Neozep Forte-Chicken Noodle Soup formula was effective for today i'm feeling okay na.

Archival Research is Hazardous to your health pala...hahahaha


Stand Alone 1.14

I Survived!

today was our critique session with Prof. Diokno regarding our historical essay for Kas 10. I have spent considerable time and effort in making my first draft for Ma'am because I had the impression that Prof Diokno would be one mean critic. Turned out it was an understatement...Prof Diokno is one very f*cking mean critic...

i was scheduled this afternoon together with three of my fellow masteral students: Bert, Kathy, and Krisdel. Since we were to meet Ma'am at our given schedules (mine's at 3:30 PM) I spent my time at the main library poring over additional readings for Kas 112. My Kas 10 historical essay is not the only paper I have been busy making these past few weeks. I have two more papers for Kas 112 -- the individual paper and the group paper (see Note to Self - Stand Alone 1.11). But for this day thoughts on my Kas 10 paper and the prospect of a severe mauling (figuratively speaking, that is) at the hands of Ma'am Diokno was looming like a dark cloud over my head.

Then I met Bert at the Library. he had just finished with his session with ma'am and he was, how do I say this? -- a bit depressed over what ma'am had to say regarding his paper. So with utter disregard for his feelings (ang sama ko talaga!) I immediately quizzed him on how his critique went: what did ma'am say? did your argument survive relatively intact? what changes are you making? nagagalit ba siya kung crappy yung paper mo? etc., etc...

The only thing I got from him is that ma'am told him that he needs to revise his paper -- as in TOTALLY. Aray ko, I thought. With just two weeks to go until the end of the semester, that would be a daunting task indeed. Another thing he mentioned is that he saw my paper on Ma'am's table -- and it was separated from the pile where the other papers were placed.

Hearing that, my mind just went numb. Did I do something wrong? Was there something wrong with the format? Is my argument worth sh*t? Did I plagiarize somewhere? I checked my draft several times - even going over the books in the library a second time - so i'm sure that i didn't plagiarize -- am i really sure? Oh, God...

With my mind reeling over dark portents and prospects of failure, I decided to leave Bert in peace so that he could resume his search for additional sources. It was 3:20 PM and from what bert said, Kathy should still be conferring with Ma'am...I decided to go to the FC...bahala na...

I arrived exactly at 3:30 and standing outside Ma'am's room, I could hear voices. Kathy was still inside. The long wait begins...

Fifteen minutes passed. The door to Ma'am's office opens and out comes Kathy -- her eyes were bloodshot. She had been crying. This does not bode well...

I hesitated for a few moments, but finally summoned the courage to knock on the door and come inside. Ma'am turned to face me and her first words were:

"Finally, a paper that has a point...sit down..."

It seemed that "Hallelujah Chorus" was playing on the background. Whew! It seemed that I would be spared the fate of my predecessors. But knowing ma'am, she'll have something to say about my paper. Things are looking up for me, though...

What follows are Prof. Diokno's "Greatest Hits", my paper may have survived, but it did not escape unscathed, so here are some of her most memorable critiques:

1. "You're consistently wrong...":she was referring to inconsistencies in my verb tenses. I was cringing when it was pointed out to me -- to think that I didn't notice that... :P

2. "I don't understand why you're so fond of doing this...": She was pointing out my frequent use of quotation marks. I think I saw this style in a few history books...oh well, what ma'am says, goes...so revise.

3. "these are the usual mistakes of students..." pointing out some of my grammatical and spelling gaffes...on a positive note, at least napapagkamalan pang student hehehe

Prof Diokno's critiques have made me realize that I still have to polish my English -- I seem to have taken for granted verb tenses and some simple grammatical rules that even a high school student could get...it's a bit of a blow to the ego but I have to accept that there is still room for improvement on my part -- nobody's perfect naman, 'di ba?

Anyway, I am just so happy right now that my paper passed Prof Diokno's standards. I am increasingly becoming confident that I would make it in my Master's studies here in UP. Now, to focus my attention on the revisions Ma'am pointed out and to resume my work on my Kas 112 papers...thank God I survived!

Stand Alone 1.13

English 101

I really don't know how long this has been going around the internet but it still makes me laugh...poor Ms.Marquez, she's stuck as the stereotypical english-mangling celebrity...magsama kaya sila ni Erap? hehehe

speaking of which Erap's verdict will be later today...may justice prevail...whatever THAT is...

for the meantime read and weep...while laughing, that is...

We' ve been friends for a long time ago. We come from the same alma
mother. Actually, our paths crossed one time on another. But it's
only now that I gave him a second look. I realized that beauty is in
the eyes. The pulpbits of my heart went fast, really fast. Cute pala
siya. And then, he came over with me. He said, "I hope you don't
mine. Can I get your number?" Nag-worry ako. What if he doesn't give
it back? He explained naman na it's so we could keep intact daw.
Sabi ko, connect me if i'm wrong but are you asking me ouch? Nabigla
siya. Sagot niya, The! Aba! Parang siya pa ang galit! Persona
ingrata!!! Ang kapal niya! I cried buckles of tears. Na-guilty yata
siya. Sabi niya, isipin mo na lang na this is a blessing in the sky.
Irregardless daw of his feelings, we'll go ouch na rin. Now, we're
so in love. Mute and epidemic na ang past. Thanks God we swallowed
our fried. Kasi, I'm 33 na and I'm running our time. After 2 weeks,
he plopped the question. "Will you marriage me?" I'm in a state of
shocked. Kasi mantakin mo, when it rains, it's four! This is true
good to be true. So siyempre, I said yes. Love is a many splendor.
Pero nung inaayos ko na ang aming kasal, everything swell to pieces.
Nag-di-dinner kami noon nang biglang sa harap ng aming table, may
babaeng humirit ng, "Well, well, well. Look do we have here." What
the fuss! The nerd ng babaeng yon! She said they were still on. So I
told her, whatever is that, cut me some slacks! I didn't want this
to get our hand kaya I had to sip it in the bud. She accused me of
steeling her boyfriend. Ats if! I don't want to portrait the role of
the other woman. Gosh, tell me to the marines! I told her, "please,
mine you own business!" Who would believe her anyway? Dahil it's not
my problem anymore but her problem anymore, tumigil na rin siya ng
panggugulo. Everything is coming up daisies. I'm so happy. Even my
boyfriend said liketwice. He's so supportive. Sabi niya, "Look at is
this way. She's our of our lives." Kaya advise ko sa inyo - take the
risk. You can never can tell. Just burn the bridge when you get
there. Life is shorts. If you make a mistake, we'll just pray for
the internal and external repose of your soul. I second emotion.

- Melanie Marquez

Note to Self

i think i've hit a slump these past few weeks...there has been not much "stand alone" posts and the promised "(almost) forgotten tales" (see LQS:Huling Kabanata) seems to have been lost in oblivion.

parang tinatamad si sonofaditch...this is bad...tsk,tsk,tsk...

therefore starting this week I have taken it upon myself to start the month by setting a few goals for me to accomplish. the problem with living by yourself is that you are your own worst enemy, so I have to remind myself of what I should be doing this time...(confusing, no?)

1. pass your first draft to Prof. Diokno within this week...and hope for the best...magtirik ng kandila sa Holy Sacrifice, hehe

2. return to the gym...nakukulangan ka na ng energy...

3. budget, budget, budget

4. start on the research for Prof Dante (ang GROUP kag ang INDIVIDUAL): I already consolidated some of my notes, a few more readings to go...

5. additional readings for Kas 112

hope this "to do list" would be sufficient to guide me this month. I have to recapture the energy I had during the first two months of the semester...sige, kaya natin to!


Stand Alone 1.12