I Survived!

today was our critique session with Prof. Diokno regarding our historical essay for Kas 10. I have spent considerable time and effort in making my first draft for Ma'am because I had the impression that Prof Diokno would be one mean critic. Turned out it was an understatement...Prof Diokno is one very f*cking mean critic...

i was scheduled this afternoon together with three of my fellow masteral students: Bert, Kathy, and Krisdel. Since we were to meet Ma'am at our given schedules (mine's at 3:30 PM) I spent my time at the main library poring over additional readings for Kas 112. My Kas 10 historical essay is not the only paper I have been busy making these past few weeks. I have two more papers for Kas 112 -- the individual paper and the group paper (see Note to Self - Stand Alone 1.11). But for this day thoughts on my Kas 10 paper and the prospect of a severe mauling (figuratively speaking, that is) at the hands of Ma'am Diokno was looming like a dark cloud over my head.

Then I met Bert at the Library. he had just finished with his session with ma'am and he was, how do I say this? -- a bit depressed over what ma'am had to say regarding his paper. So with utter disregard for his feelings (ang sama ko talaga!) I immediately quizzed him on how his critique went: what did ma'am say? did your argument survive relatively intact? what changes are you making? nagagalit ba siya kung crappy yung paper mo? etc., etc...

The only thing I got from him is that ma'am told him that he needs to revise his paper -- as in TOTALLY. Aray ko, I thought. With just two weeks to go until the end of the semester, that would be a daunting task indeed. Another thing he mentioned is that he saw my paper on Ma'am's table -- and it was separated from the pile where the other papers were placed.

Hearing that, my mind just went numb. Did I do something wrong? Was there something wrong with the format? Is my argument worth sh*t? Did I plagiarize somewhere? I checked my draft several times - even going over the books in the library a second time - so i'm sure that i didn't plagiarize -- am i really sure? Oh, God...

With my mind reeling over dark portents and prospects of failure, I decided to leave Bert in peace so that he could resume his search for additional sources. It was 3:20 PM and from what bert said, Kathy should still be conferring with Ma'am...I decided to go to the FC...bahala na...

I arrived exactly at 3:30 and standing outside Ma'am's room, I could hear voices. Kathy was still inside. The long wait begins...

Fifteen minutes passed. The door to Ma'am's office opens and out comes Kathy -- her eyes were bloodshot. She had been crying. This does not bode well...

I hesitated for a few moments, but finally summoned the courage to knock on the door and come inside. Ma'am turned to face me and her first words were:

"Finally, a paper that has a point...sit down..."

It seemed that "Hallelujah Chorus" was playing on the background. Whew! It seemed that I would be spared the fate of my predecessors. But knowing ma'am, she'll have something to say about my paper. Things are looking up for me, though...

What follows are Prof. Diokno's "Greatest Hits", my paper may have survived, but it did not escape unscathed, so here are some of her most memorable critiques:

1. "You're consistently wrong...":she was referring to inconsistencies in my verb tenses. I was cringing when it was pointed out to me -- to think that I didn't notice that... :P

2. "I don't understand why you're so fond of doing this...": She was pointing out my frequent use of quotation marks. I think I saw this style in a few history books...oh well, what ma'am says, goes...so revise.

3. "these are the usual mistakes of students..." pointing out some of my grammatical and spelling gaffes...on a positive note, at least napapagkamalan pang student hehehe

Prof Diokno's critiques have made me realize that I still have to polish my English -- I seem to have taken for granted verb tenses and some simple grammatical rules that even a high school student could get...it's a bit of a blow to the ego but I have to accept that there is still room for improvement on my part -- nobody's perfect naman, 'di ba?

Anyway, I am just so happy right now that my paper passed Prof Diokno's standards. I am increasingly becoming confident that I would make it in my Master's studies here in UP. Now, to focus my attention on the revisions Ma'am pointed out and to resume my work on my Kas 112 papers...thank God I survived!

Stand Alone 1.13