Stilted plot, an oftentimes insipid script, and the dialogue...THE DIALOGUE!
It was a miracle I got through it - no, wait - i absolutely had to skip some parts. The vampires sparkling in the sunlight scene was corny. ew. Liked the baseball scene, though. Peter Facinelli's as white as bondpaper, Jasper has this constipated look stamped on his face (it seems he's fighting back some hunger pangs since he's a new 'vegetarian' but all I can see is bowel obstruction), and the love story is zombified - just working on the barest of logic, and of course...Bella's body odor.
from cracked.com...click the image to enlarge