Makikigulo na rin...compilation album number one

was strolling around Megamall and I happened to wander into odyssey music store. One odd (and quite irritating) fad nowadays is the release of so-called compilation albums under the name of an actress which coincidentally is no singer (not counted and mga obligatory off-key renditions in noontime variety shows) like "Songs of Healing...(?)" and another album which I forgot the title "by" Kris Aquino and this new one I saw which featured Judy Ann Santos naman for heaven's sake. It seems wala nang matinong maisip ang mga record companies but to make these "so-called" compilations of mostly foreign songs then package them as something that had been "handpicked" by some celebrity whose life seemed to echo the themes of the songs featured in the album. Much worse is that they hire these "divas" and "singers" to make their own "rendition" of the song -- the end result is a horrible pastiche of shrieks and unmelodic vocal gymnastics that is an insult to the original song and artist. it's like recording all the bad production numbers of ASAP where "singers" engage in a vocal equivalent of a World War -- the end result is pretty much the same: utter desolation and suffering among all those assembled in the studio as well as the millions tuned in.

So I am hereby turning this fad one notch higher into the level of absurdity. Yes, ladies and gentlemen...sonofaditch officially throws his hat into this "compilation wars" by launching my own, albeit unofficial, unrecognized and unfinanced, "album-in-the-works" ay sori..."compilation-in-the-works-that-ostensibly-poses-as-my-solo-album-kuno" hehehehe

First we need a title...I think Kris was like "Songs of Love and Healing", in reference to the James Yap-Hope fiasco. I remember watching ASAP (kay wala na gid malantawan nga iban haha) where Kris was promoting her second "album", this time the theme was about her life. (with Kris Aquino, nothing is unpromotable and unsellable...I think that b*tch will sell her soul to Chunky Corned Beef or Goldilocks if they offered her the right price, hehehe) and her hubby was standing backstage looking like an "udong" as my mother described him. hahahaha pasintabi po sa mga fans ni Kris...i'm not done insulting her yet...

OK so what will be my title? I'm tempted to ape the classic rock albums like "The Wall", or "Joshua Tree" or "Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness", or "Are you Experienced?"...so para wala away the title will be...

"Have you Experienced the Joshua Tree walled in by the Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness?" hahahahahahahaha

and now the album cover...the first thing that comes to mind is the promotional poster of the movie "tenacious D and the pick of destiny" where Jack Black poses a la Adam in the Sistine Chapel painting whilst reaching for a shining guitar pick...

For my album cover, instead of reclining on clouds, ill be stretched out on a Joshua Tree branch while the background's all blazing with psychedelic colors -- parang northern lights pero kita lahat ng colors of the spectrum. And instead of a guitar pick, i shall be reaching for the Holy Grail. Two imposing figures shall emerge from the clouds, on my left shall be the personification of evil most vile -- Kris Aquino with tentacles sprouting from her vagina and with acid frothing from her mouth (her real mouth mind you...) while on the right are the forces of good and light in the person of the original Smashing Pumpkins all garbed in shiny white polyester jumpsuits and wielding their respective instruments all made out of...automobile parts.

Then the title shall be superimposed on the uppermost part of the album cover. Font style is similar to that seen in the Incredibles movie. The title shall be in deep red...bwahahahahaha

now that the title and album cover's done...what songs will be featured inside "my" album (hehehehe)

let's see...my musical taste is a bit diverse so let's just make this compilation a halo-halo of sorts, doesn't have to make any sense since I apparently don't make any sense either hehe

the album shall feature twelve --no, fourteen ---NO...let's make it FIFTEEN tracks. a most eclectic collection of songs spanning various genres from several decades of the best in music ever created..

track one: "tell it like it is" by tracy Chapman
track two: "true faith" by new order
track three: "let's dance" by david bowie
track four: "young manhood" by the wild swans
track five: "satisfaction" duet performed by bjork and p.j. harvey
track six: "no woman, no cry" by bob marley
track seven: "troy" by sinead o'connor
track eight: "teardrop" by massive attack
track nine: "hyperballad" by bjork
track ten: "1979" by the smashing pumpkins
track eleven: "rape me" by nirvana
track twelve: "walking after you" by the foo fighters
track thirteen" "seal my fate" by belly
track fourteen: "the great gig in the sky" by pink floyd
track fifteen: "it's the end of the world as we know it (and i feel fine)" by REM

BONUS TRACK (baw may bonus track pa nga nabal-an): "orinoco flow" by enya

SPECIAL LIMITED EDITION: all these songs will be sung by ME (yes, including the orgasmic cries in 'the great gig in the sky' kakayanin natin yan! haha!)

the idea, title and cover may stink but the songs listed here are top-notch. Kaya ba nina Kris at Judy Ann to?

so, watchutink huh? I need your support people of the philippines...let's show these people that there's more to life than theme songs and sappy renditions...express your support by posting a favorable comment on my comments box...pleease!