Saturday, November 1, 2008

Masters of Horror

Halloween post po ito so beware -- disturbing content follows.

During my laptop hiatus I dug up my long-ignored VCD/DVD player and resurrected my viewing list. My list was a bit macabre since it includes the first season of Dexter. The serial killer of serial killers. The most unforgettable scene was the hotel room flooded with human blood. Yummy...

Next DVD on the list was Masters of Horror Season 1 -- an anthology of stand-alone movies directed by some of the most famed horror movie directors ever. grabe...

I only watched five episodes of the series since my DVD player conked out and started rejecting every disc I placed in it. Nasiraan yata ng bait sa mga pingasasasaksak ko sa kanya. hehehe

Here's a brief description of the five episodes I watched. May konting review pa yan ha...disturbing content po mga kids...

Incident On and Off a Mountain Road -

para siyang slasher flick. complete with damsel in distress and lots of takbuhan and habulan.

In a dark forest.

at night.

and I should add that our damsel in distress progressively sheds a bit of clothing as the episode wears on. hmmm...

the flashbacks regarding the protagonist's actions a few hours before the 'incident' was a nice touch. here we get to see her meeting the man of her dreams, falling in love, boinking like crazy inside a cabin in the torrential rain, and getting tips on survival from her hubby (who was the BF a few seconds earlier in the flashback, basta) who happened to be a survival freak.

So that's why damsel in distress becomes female version of MacGyver?...hmmmm...

The husband-survivalist was nowhere to be seen during the course of the events in the dark forest. The antagonist was a deformed, semi-retarded hulk of a creature. This element in the story was a bit of a stretch for me, as when the creature first made its appearance i went, "now wait a f*cking minute.."

anyway, this is horror, so whatevs...

Fave scene: the eye drilling. Complete with sirens pa yan ha? Yaaaaagh!

The twist in the end was good, though a bit contrived...but still good. The eye drilling made up for the flaws in the film. wahehehehehe

Dreams in the Witch-House This one was based on a story by the classic horror writer H.P. Lovecraft. If it's Lovecraft, it must be good. If it's Lovecraft, there should be a rat...

A rat with a human face...

Grad student takes residence in a room that becomes a portal to his worse nightmares. Beginning to lose his grip on reality, he slowly succumbs to the wiles of the witch who crosses the borders between time and space to make him an instrument to an unspeakable sacrifice.

Long story short. naked woman morphs into an old lady. man keeps banging his head on a table while chanting in Latin. Grad student gets progressively neurotic. rat-with-human-face gnaws a baby to death. Grad student gets gnawed to death by rat-with-human face.

Fave scene: Grad student writhes in agony as rat gnaws his insides. Rat emerges from his belly. Blood. Blood. Blood.

Dance of the Dead. From the opening credits I had high hopes for this movie. Robert Englund, a.k.a. Freddy Kruger of Nightmare on Elm Street stars. With music by - ehem - Billy Corgan! Wohoooooo!

Pero olats yung movie. There was NOTHING horrific about this one. The dead becoming reanimated and subjected to a weird dancing ritual wherein they are poked with electric rods wasn't horror-inspiring for me. It was weirdly comic to say the least. The mother-daughter, post-apocalyptic backstory wasn't a bit interesting, as I fast-forwarded through the most part of the film. I was looking for a BC cameo, but...wait! was that him singing in the bar?

Fave scene? wala. runner-up yung scene where guests in a birthday party become exposed to a chemical which makes their skin rot. The dancing dead scenes were a bit pathetic. Mas weird yung scene where a zombie was giving Robert Englund's character a blowjob. haha

Jenifer. This one so far takes the cake of all the episodes I've seen.

What are the ingredients of a good horror film?

Grossly deformed female protagonist, of suspicious - uh - humanity? check.

A male character, preferably a figure of authority. preferably a cop...check.

Furious, animalistic, softporn grade sex. with breast exposure...check.

A cat, a little girl, a middle aged man and a teenage boy being eviscerated and their guts feasted upon by deformed female protagonist? check.

In the boy's case, buhay pa siya habang kinakain yung bituka nya. Yaaaaagh!


Pwede ditong mag-star yung mga loveteams in the Pinoy movies. There is an undertone of romance in this movie that I found intriguing. There was not much horror elements to the story. and the only gory scene here was when the woman slit her lover's belly open with a knife, but even if the gory bits were toned down, this movie could still stand pretty much on solid footing on its premise that a man could fall in love with a woman even without meeting her.

I recommend listening to Bjork's I Miss You while viewing this film. Magkapareho ang premise ng movie at ang lyrics ng kanta ni Bjork hehe

A man starts to experience episodic blackouts in which he begins to live through the sense of a woman whom he had never met before. It started with a taste of chocolate, then the sound of classical music amidst a cacophonous rock performance. Then the man begins to see what the woman sees, feel what she feels.

Imagine a guy experiencing sex as a woman. Ika nga ng lalake after he snaps back to his reality -- "Jesus Christ!"

The wildlife expert from the TV series Eureka costars as the male protagonists co-worker, and frustrated rocker -- with a fake mohawk. hahaha

The episodes I'm looking forward to...

The Fair Haired Child. Beware the fair-haired child. woooooooooh...

Cigarette Burns. Snuff film stars an angel. movie drives men crazy. make them poke things, and cut off things...

Imprint. By the incomparable Takashi Miike! hindi ko pa napanood ito but knowing Takashi Miike, this is one hell of a movie...YAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Happy Halloween...

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